What I Learn from my Dreams...For the Record: Batman is Tough, but Satan is Tougher

it's true. And sure, I was scared when I saw a man wearing a black cloak walking though my backyard. Even more scared when he turned out to be Satan, come to take the family dog, our little shi tzu, away.

I knew I couldn't win. Dude, we're talking about SATAN here, but I turned into Batman and Batman's got some sweet moves. Then SATAN morphed his face into a set of red ghost teeth and chompted down on my fingers.

OUCH!
POW!

CA-BAM!

better teeth

"it's gonna cost you about $300, but trust me: it'll be worth it." Sophia was telling me all I need to do is get my teeth whitened.

Maybe I should back up.

The crazy black lady sitting next to me at the department of workforce services in downtown salt lake turned out to be mostly uncrazy. Actually, she turned out to be S. S., the writer of The Matrix and The Terminator. I looked her up online and she's the real thing. I know it's hard to believe.

She gave me her number and told me to call her before I went to bed. She wanted to do numerology on my name, which told her that I am a number 1, meaning I "can be famous and rich like Tom Cruise. I will be known, for good or for evil."

All I need to do is get my teeth fixed.