salt lake sun or forefires?

how do you take your heat sir? thats what i'm trying to decide. i've been applying for firefighting summer jobs starting this past week. didn't know that ,did you. yep i am full of fucking surprises. but shit man, i think i'm a little homesick for salt lake. I have so many things i want to do there this summer, and its not often that ty, shin, dustin, kathleen and grant (for part of it ?), and of course sander and my parents will all be in town at the same time. It will be just like junior high again, except this time i'll be fighting disollusionment with life instead of riding on the high of idealism. That and i'll be living the subjective life.

I can't believe it was a year ago but it was. Sitting in park in philadelphia the first days of spring high on mushrooms, the first and only time i've tried them. I realized then, other than the fact that dustin was amazing because he could remember things that happened 5 minutes ago whereas i could not, that i need to learn how to live in a subjective universe. in a world without truth with a capital T. I'm giving myself till 40 to figure out how to live in a subjective universe, if i make it that far. Until then its a confusing world to live in, filled with ideas of truth and righteousness and further complicated by disney and lord of the rings sentiments if you know what i mean. all that good versus evil shit is dangerous.

The other thing i realized on that trip was that i'm a misogynist. but thats a different story.